How to Teach Kids Gratitude: 5 Practical Ways
Every November, we start talking about gratitude.
We make thankful lists. We ask our kids what they’re thankful for. Maybe we write those things on paper leaves, put them in a jar, or go around the Thanksgiving table sharing our answers.
And there’s absolutely nothing wrong with any of that.
But have you ever asked your child, “What are you thankful for?” and gotten the same answers you’ve heard a hundred times?
My family. My friends. My house. Food.
They’re good answers. They’re things we should be thankful for. But sometimes I wonder if our kids have learned the right answers to the gratitude question without really learning how to notice.
Because before we can truly be thankful for something, we have to see it.
We have to recognize the work someone did for us. The provision we usually take for granted. The ordinary gift we barely even think about anymore.
And I think that’s something we can actually teach our kids to do.
1. Ask Better Questions
“What are you thankful for?” is a good question, but it’s also an easy one to answer without much thought.
Try asking questions that require your kids to look a little more closely at their day:
- What made your life easier today?
- What did someone do for you today that they didn’t have to do?
- What did you enjoy today that you normally don’t think twice about?
- What is something you used today that you would really miss if you didn’t have it tomorrow?
- Who worked today so you could enjoy something?
- What went right today?
- Where did you see God provide today?
You don’t need to sit everyone down for a formal gratitude lesson, either. Ask one question at dinner. Talk about it in the car. Bring it up during morning time.
You’re simply teaching your kids to pay attention.
Psalm 107:43 says, “Let the one who is wise heed these things and ponder the loving deeds of the LORD.” (NIV)
I love that word ponder. God’s goodness is all around us, but sometimes we have to slow down long enough to actually see it.
2. Let Them Experience the Work Behind What They Have
Sometimes appreciation comes when we understand what something costs.
That doesn’t necessarily mean money. It might mean time, effort, planning, or sacrifice.
Let your child help plan and prepare dinner. Have your teenager look at the grocery budget and shop with you. Bake bread from scratch instead of pulling a loaf from the pantry. Let your kids help with the work that goes into hosting Thanksgiving dinner.
A child who simply walks into the kitchen and finds dinner waiting may be thankful for dinner, but a child who has planned the meal, shopped for ingredients, chopped vegetables, cooked, served everyone, and cleaned the kitchen afterward sees that dinner a little differently!
This is one reason responsibility is so valuable for our kids. When they begin doing some of the work themselves, they start to recognize how much work other people have been doing for them all along.
3. Teach Them to Look Behind the Blessing
Another way we can help our kids develop a deeper sense of gratitude is by encouraging them to think about the people, effort, and sacrifices behind the things they enjoy. Rather than simply naming something they’re thankful for, we can challenge them to consider what makes that blessing possible in the first place.
For example, maybe your child says they’re thankful they get to play soccer. That’s great! But have they ever stopped to think about everything that goes into making that opportunity possible? There’s a coach who gives up evenings to lead practices, parents who drive back and forth to games, someone who maintains the fields, and teammates who show up each week. Not to mention the registration fees, equipment, clean uniforms, and all the schedule adjustments that happen behind the scenes to make it work!
Suddenly, something as simple as being thankful for soccer becomes an opportunity to recognize and appreciate the many people who make it possible.
We can do the same thing with everyday blessings that our kids might not give much thought to. A warm, comfortable home doesn’t just happen on its own. There are bills to pay, repairs to make, and plenty of work involved in keeping everything running smoothly. Or think about that favorite dish Grandma brings to Thanksgiving dinner every year. Our kids might look forward to eating it, but have they considered the time, planning, and love that go into preparing it year after year?
James 1:17 reminds us that “Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights.” (NIV)
As Christians, we want our children to recognize that everything we have ultimately comes from God. But I also think it’s important for them to understand that He often provides for us through the kindness, generosity, and hard work of other people.
When we encourage our kids to look beyond the blessing itself and consider what goes into it, we’re helping them develop a greater appreciation for both God’s provision and the people He uses to care for us.
4. Turn Noticing Into Action
As our kids begin to recognize the things other people do for them, we have a wonderful opportunity to teach them that gratitude is more than just a feeling. It’s something we can actually express through our words and actions.
For example, if your daughter realizes that her piano teacher regularly spends extra time helping her, encourage her to write a thank-you note. If your son notices that Dad gave up part of his Saturday to fix his bike, remind him how meaningful it would be to acknowledge that effort. And as Thanksgiving approaches, maybe your kids could think about everything Grandma does to make the holiday special and find a way to show their appreciation, whether that’s offering to help prepare a dish, writing her a note, or simply telling her how much they enjoy the traditions she’s created.
One practical way to encourage this habit is to challenge your kids throughout November to notice someone each week whose efforts might normally go unrecognized and find a way to thank them. It doesn’t have to be anything elaborate or expensive. A handwritten note, a thoughtful text, an offer to help, or even a sincere conversation can go a long way toward making someone feel appreciated.
Psalm 107:1 tells us, “Give thanks to the LORD, for he is good; his love endures forever.” (NIV)
I love that Scripture doesn’t simply tell us to feel thankful, but repeatedly encourages us to give thanks. There’s an action involved! And while our gratitude ultimately belongs to God, we can also teach our children to express appreciation to the people He has placed in their lives.
When we help our kids turn what they notice into meaningful expressions of gratitude, we’re teaching them something much more valuable than simply remembering to say “thank you” when someone hands them something. We’re helping them develop a habit of recognizing and appreciating the kindness, generosity, and sacrifices of others.
5. Teach Them to Notice When the Day Wasn’t Good
I think one of the most important parts of teaching gratitude is helping our kids learn to recognize God’s goodness even when things aren’t going the way they’d hoped.
Because let’s face it, not every day is going to be a good one. Our kids are going to struggle with difficult assignments, experience disappointment when they don’t make the team, deal with friendship challenges, and walk through seasons when life just feels hard. As families, we may also face sickness, financial struggles, or circumstances that look nothing like what we had planned.
And here’s what I want my kids to understand: Biblical gratitude doesn’t mean pretending those things aren’t difficult or acting like everything is wonderful when it isn’t.
Instead, we can help them learn to look for what is still good, even in the middle of those challenges.
Maybe your child struggled through a math test, but the experience helped them recognize something they need to work on. Maybe they had a disappointing day at practice, but a teammate took the time to encourage them. Or perhaps your family is walking through a particularly difficult season, but you can still recognize the ways God is providing for your needs and placing people in your lives who care about you.
First Thessalonians 5:18 tells us to “give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” (NIV)
I think that distinction is so important. Scripture calls us to give thanks in all circumstances, not to pretend that every circumstance is good. We can acknowledge that something is genuinely hard while still recognizing God’s goodness and faithfulness in the midst of it.
When we teach our children to look for those things, we’re not asking them to ignore their feelings or minimize their struggles. We’re helping them develop a perspective that doesn’t allow disappointment or difficulty to become the only thing they see.
And that’s a habit of gratitude that will serve them long after their homeschooling years are over.
Our Kids Are Learning What to Notice From Us
Of course, as we work on teaching our children to recognize the blessings around them, we also need to consider what we’re modeling in our own lives. Our kids are watching us and listening to the things we talk about, and whether we realize it or not, we’re helping shape what they learn to pay attention to.
Think about the conversations that happen throughout a typical day. Do our kids hear us expressing appreciation when someone does something kind, pointing out the beauty of God’s creation, or recognizing the ways He has provided for our family? Do they hear us thanking our husbands for taking care of something around the house or acknowledging when a sibling goes out of their way to help someone else?
Or are we more likely to talk about the mess that needs cleaning, the plans that didn’t work out, the unexpected expenses, or the things that frustrated us throughout the day?
I’ll admit, this is something I have to remind myself of, too! As homeschool moms, we have so many things competing for our attention, and it’s easy to become so focused on everything that needs to be finished, fixed, graded, cleaned, or planned that we overlook the good things happening right in front of us.
This is actually one of the reasons I created Everyday Faithfulness: A Devotional for Homeschool Moms and the companion Everyday Faithfulness Journal. I know how easy it is to get caught up in the busyness of everyday life, and I wanted to create something that would encourage homeschool moms to spend intentional time in God’s Word, reflect on His faithfulness, and consider how biblical truths apply to the season of motherhood and homeschooling they’re walking through.
The Everyday Faithfulness Journal provides space to dig deeper into Scripture, reflect, pray, and think about how God is working in the midst of our ordinary days. Because sometimes we need those reminders just as much as our children do!
And I think that’s an important part of teaching gratitude that we can easily overlook. We can’t expect our kids to develop a habit of noticing God’s goodness if we’re not intentionally cultivating that same habit in our own lives. As we learn to recognize and give thanks for His faithfulness, we have more opportunities to point our children toward Him, too.
Gratitude Is a Way of Seeing
As Thanksgiving approaches, I hope you’ll take time to talk with your kids about the things you’re thankful for. Make the gratitude lists, fill the thankful jars, and enjoy those family traditions that encourage everyone to reflect on God’s blessings. Those can all be wonderful ways to practice gratitude together!
But I also want to encourage you to take it a little further this year by helping your children become more intentional about noticing the blessings they might otherwise overlook. Encourage them to recognize the people who quietly serve them, appreciate the time and effort behind the things they enjoy, and pay attention to the everyday comforts they’ve grown accustomed to. Help them learn to recognize God’s provision, even when life doesn’t go according to plan.
My hope is that these conversations won’t end when Thanksgiving is over, because gratitude isn’t just something we practice during November. It’s a habit we want our children to carry with them throughout their lives.
And maybe one of the best ways we can help them develop that habit is by teaching them to slow down, pay attention, and recognize God’s goodness in the ordinary moments of everyday life. Because before our children can regularly give thanks for the blessings in their lives, they first need to learn to notice them.
